I had a coffee date this morning. I'm very glad I scheduled it for the morning and got it over with. They are so very awkward for me and I didn't want to wait around all day thinking about it. But maybe it's kind of weird to meet at 10:30 for a "date," I don't know. But at least it was over with by noonish and I have the rest of the day to myself to do with as I please (which consisted of buying a bunch of books, love the books).
This woman was nice enough, but for me there was no immediate connection. And as sad as I am to say this, I apparently really am looking for that immediate connection. Or at least the recognition that there is something there that I want to pursue. Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow, but right now I'm chalking this "date" up as another "well, at least I tried" moment in my life.
I can look past the braces (yes, she has braces) because those won't be there forever and she has a nice smile. She was pretty, not stunning (which is good and what I prefer), brown eyes that had depth. She's Brazilian so there was a little language issue for me, not a huge one though which was good and which I'm sure would pass into the realm of things you forget over time. I couldn't tell sometimes if she was serious or joking but I suppose until you get to know someone that can be difficult to tell sometimes.
But she had trouble asking me about things. Like I asked her about her family and if she traveled home to Brazil often. She could easily have said to me "and what about your family?" after she'd answered me. But she didn't so I kept asking her questions. My favorite part of the whole "date" though was while we were chatting about things we liked to do. Her response, toward the end of the conversation was "I like food, wine and sex." Allllllrighty then! I guess that's a pretty honest answer.
And I also could tell she was a very tactile person. And while I wish I was, I am not a tactile person. We just weren't a family that did a lot touchy feely stuff when I was a kid. Not faulting my family or my parents, it's just how it was/is. I'm not a big hugger even with my close friends. And perhaps I need a very tactile person to help me break out of that shell, I don't know. Also, the hug as we were parting lasted a little too long for me. See "not a big hugger" above.
Also I need a dating coach. I think this might be easier for me if I had someone telling me what to say via a tiny hidden ear piece sort of like the CD Bales character in the movie Roxanne. Take for instance my response to her invitation to continue our "date" over lunch because she was getting hungry. Instead of the good response (which I thought of about 5 minutes ago while changing the laundry, only 4 or so hours too late) which is "I'm sorry I can't, I promised my friends I'd meet them for lunch in a half hour" my response was "I'm sorry I can't, I have to go grocery shopping and do laundry." Seriously!? "I have to go grocery shopping and do laundry" was the best I could come up with? WTF?
And I get to do this all over again with a different woman later this week. I am maybe not excited about that prospect. I only have a couple days to recover from this go around.
Today's song is in honor of my "date's" love of wine. I give you Red Red Wine by UB40.
Red, red wine
Stay close to me
Don't let me be alone
It's tearin' apart
My blue, blue heart
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I have no title for this blog, you can insert one of your own
I have another addition to my list of who I find far more attractive than Angelina Jolie, this one is Sandra Bullock. I also think she'd make a great friend, someone fun to hang out with. And she just seems, dare I say it, nice. And she's hot.
I really don't have a topic for this blog. It's just been a while since I've written. I am still in weird internet dating limbo. I am at a point again where I have two and potentially three coffee dates in the near future. Nothing has been scheduled at this point. I'm sort of dragging my feet on that part and I can't figure out why.
I mean if my ultimate goal with the internet dating thing is to meet Ms. Right then I should just get moving right? But this all feels so strange. And one of the women, well her first e-mail was an invitation to dinner. Hi, can you say forward much? Not even an introduction or small talk, just "what can you tell me about yourself that's not in your profile, perhaps over dinner?" I suggested coffee instead and she replied within minutes that would be fine. Not within a day or two or even an hour or two but minutes. Now, I am usually very quick with the e-mail replies, but holy wicked fast response Batman. And that is off putting to me for some reason. Maybe because she's done it a couple times now. And to me that says she's plugged in even more than I am and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I do have faith that I'll find what I'm looking for and I have plenty of patience to wait for it, but I'm having trouble going through the necessary motions to find that person. So, I'm sporadic with my replies and my searching and my winking and my e-mailing to find Ms. Right. And I figure that's good enough for now. I can only do my best in all things and right now being sporadic is my best. I'm sure that will change at some point.
And today's lyrics were just heard on the movie I'm watching so they get to be featured in tonight's blog. I leave you with Dancing Queen by Abba.
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen
I really don't have a topic for this blog. It's just been a while since I've written. I am still in weird internet dating limbo. I am at a point again where I have two and potentially three coffee dates in the near future. Nothing has been scheduled at this point. I'm sort of dragging my feet on that part and I can't figure out why.
I mean if my ultimate goal with the internet dating thing is to meet Ms. Right then I should just get moving right? But this all feels so strange. And one of the women, well her first e-mail was an invitation to dinner. Hi, can you say forward much? Not even an introduction or small talk, just "what can you tell me about yourself that's not in your profile, perhaps over dinner?" I suggested coffee instead and she replied within minutes that would be fine. Not within a day or two or even an hour or two but minutes. Now, I am usually very quick with the e-mail replies, but holy wicked fast response Batman. And that is off putting to me for some reason. Maybe because she's done it a couple times now. And to me that says she's plugged in even more than I am and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I do have faith that I'll find what I'm looking for and I have plenty of patience to wait for it, but I'm having trouble going through the necessary motions to find that person. So, I'm sporadic with my replies and my searching and my winking and my e-mailing to find Ms. Right. And I figure that's good enough for now. I can only do my best in all things and right now being sporadic is my best. I'm sure that will change at some point.
And today's lyrics were just heard on the movie I'm watching so they get to be featured in tonight's blog. I leave you with Dancing Queen by Abba.
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Brick wall
Have you ever felt that no matter how many times you've said something and no matter how many different ways you've explained that same something you're talking to a brick wall? Even though the person standing in front of you is very real?
That has been my life at work lately. I don't write much about my work. That is not the focus of this blog, nor do I want it to be. But sometimes, you just have to vent and today is that time for me. I have staff. I love my staff. They are a great group of women who for the most part work very well together and do a great job. And I feel as though they do respect me even though I am younger than all of them (and way younger than some of them). My staff have very specific things they have to do (as do all of us out there in the "real world"). We have guidelines for just about everything we do, whether they're in written form or simply known guidelines (tribal knowledge as some might like to say). I have put protocols or business practices in place over the course of the time I've been supervising them (close to five years now). And frankly I was doing that even before I started to supervise them. This helps them know just how to do certain things which don't come up every day and how to deal with the limitations of our database.
A large part of my job is to know how our database works, how said database works in tandem with our reporting system and how to make sure what we put into the database comes out of the database in a usable form. It is my freaking job to know how these things work. I put a protocol in place probably six years ago, sometime after we converted from one database and reporting system to a new database and reporting system, to deal with one of these limitations. I did not do this for my health. I did not do this to make my staff's job harder or because that's the way I thought it needed to be done. I did this because if we do not follow the steps as I outlined them (oh so many years ago) things break. It's as simple as that.
And when things break I have to contact our IT department to have them cleaned up. And when I have to do that IT may be able to fix things same day, but it might be day or two or more before they can get to it depending on what else is going on around campus. Let me back up a second. I work in fund raising for a college. My staff puts gifts into our database. So, if something breaks and I have to contact IT to fix it and it takes them days to get to it that often means that we have a live gift check waiting to be deposited into the college's bank account because my staff can't finish what they started. Because someone didn't follow our protocol and something broke.
I am a flexible person (and I am pretty bendy as well, but I digress). I am all for finding new, better, easier, more efficient ways to do things. Work smarter, not harder is a good motto. But, that simply cannot happen in this case. Things MUST be done the way I've asked, repeatedly, for them to be done. I have put this policy in writing on a number of occasions. And I had to do it yet again today because even after all these years people are STILL not following my instructions. Even blogging about it right now while I'm in my pajamas on my couch with my feet up makes my blood pressure rise.
Why is this one thing so hard for them to understand? It is no different in my mind than knowing that if someone is a doctor we don't address a letter to them as Mr. Doe, but rather Dr. Doe. Or even knowing that if we get notified that one of our constituents has passed away that we have to do things step by step to appropriately note that in our database. We have policies, procedures, business practices, protocols, whatever you want to call them, in place for those things.
I have had it with this whole situation. I have put the damn policy (protocol, business practice, whatever the fuck you want to call it) in writing a few times, including once yet again today. I have verbally explained it to each staff member over and over and over again until I'm blue in the face. I have argued with them, I have explained it every way I know how, I have have stood my ground on this for years and they still don't fucking listen to me.
I have called a staff meeting for later this week to talk about this situation and some other things which relate to it. I am at my wits end with this. Now, if they were my children and they didn't pick up their toys like I asked them to I could take away their TV privileges or their dessert after dinner or not let them have a friend over or ground them. There could be consequences for not following the rules is what I'm trying to say. But there are no consequences in this case. There really can't be. Because person A might not follow my instructions, but it won't affect them. Instead it'll affect person B who goes to something else and encounters the problem that person A created. And you never know when that's going to happen. Arghhhh!
As I said before I love my staff, but when they fight me on this (and they do, believe me I've had to go toe to toe with them on this many many many times) I just want to shake them and when they ask "why do we have to do it this way?" say to them "because I'm the boss that's why." And that is simply not my style. It's not me at all. But that's the point I'm at right now. And that's the bottom line. I know best in this situation and that's the end of it.
Today's song is Fuel by Ani DiFranco. I love this song for many reasons, but I think this part of it is fitting for today's post.
Am I headed for the same brick wall
is there anything I can do
about anything at all?
Except go back to that corner in Manhattan
and dig deeper, dig deeper this time
That has been my life at work lately. I don't write much about my work. That is not the focus of this blog, nor do I want it to be. But sometimes, you just have to vent and today is that time for me. I have staff. I love my staff. They are a great group of women who for the most part work very well together and do a great job. And I feel as though they do respect me even though I am younger than all of them (and way younger than some of them). My staff have very specific things they have to do (as do all of us out there in the "real world"). We have guidelines for just about everything we do, whether they're in written form or simply known guidelines (tribal knowledge as some might like to say). I have put protocols or business practices in place over the course of the time I've been supervising them (close to five years now). And frankly I was doing that even before I started to supervise them. This helps them know just how to do certain things which don't come up every day and how to deal with the limitations of our database.
A large part of my job is to know how our database works, how said database works in tandem with our reporting system and how to make sure what we put into the database comes out of the database in a usable form. It is my freaking job to know how these things work. I put a protocol in place probably six years ago, sometime after we converted from one database and reporting system to a new database and reporting system, to deal with one of these limitations. I did not do this for my health. I did not do this to make my staff's job harder or because that's the way I thought it needed to be done. I did this because if we do not follow the steps as I outlined them (oh so many years ago) things break. It's as simple as that.
And when things break I have to contact our IT department to have them cleaned up. And when I have to do that IT may be able to fix things same day, but it might be day or two or more before they can get to it depending on what else is going on around campus. Let me back up a second. I work in fund raising for a college. My staff puts gifts into our database. So, if something breaks and I have to contact IT to fix it and it takes them days to get to it that often means that we have a live gift check waiting to be deposited into the college's bank account because my staff can't finish what they started. Because someone didn't follow our protocol and something broke.
I am a flexible person (and I am pretty bendy as well, but I digress). I am all for finding new, better, easier, more efficient ways to do things. Work smarter, not harder is a good motto. But, that simply cannot happen in this case. Things MUST be done the way I've asked, repeatedly, for them to be done. I have put this policy in writing on a number of occasions. And I had to do it yet again today because even after all these years people are STILL not following my instructions. Even blogging about it right now while I'm in my pajamas on my couch with my feet up makes my blood pressure rise.
Why is this one thing so hard for them to understand? It is no different in my mind than knowing that if someone is a doctor we don't address a letter to them as Mr. Doe, but rather Dr. Doe. Or even knowing that if we get notified that one of our constituents has passed away that we have to do things step by step to appropriately note that in our database. We have policies, procedures, business practices, protocols, whatever you want to call them, in place for those things.
I have had it with this whole situation. I have put the damn policy (protocol, business practice, whatever the fuck you want to call it) in writing a few times, including once yet again today. I have verbally explained it to each staff member over and over and over again until I'm blue in the face. I have argued with them, I have explained it every way I know how, I have have stood my ground on this for years and they still don't fucking listen to me.
I have called a staff meeting for later this week to talk about this situation and some other things which relate to it. I am at my wits end with this. Now, if they were my children and they didn't pick up their toys like I asked them to I could take away their TV privileges or their dessert after dinner or not let them have a friend over or ground them. There could be consequences for not following the rules is what I'm trying to say. But there are no consequences in this case. There really can't be. Because person A might not follow my instructions, but it won't affect them. Instead it'll affect person B who goes to something else and encounters the problem that person A created. And you never know when that's going to happen. Arghhhh!
As I said before I love my staff, but when they fight me on this (and they do, believe me I've had to go toe to toe with them on this many many many times) I just want to shake them and when they ask "why do we have to do it this way?" say to them "because I'm the boss that's why." And that is simply not my style. It's not me at all. But that's the point I'm at right now. And that's the bottom line. I know best in this situation and that's the end of it.
Today's song is Fuel by Ani DiFranco. I love this song for many reasons, but I think this part of it is fitting for today's post.
Am I headed for the same brick wall
is there anything I can do
about anything at all?
Except go back to that corner in Manhattan
and dig deeper, dig deeper this time
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I dream in technicolor
When I dream, I dream in vivid technicolor. My dreams are detailed and lengthy. Last night's dream was particularly detailed and also lengthy and I thought I'd share it with you all.
I was on a weekend trip away, by myself. I'd decided to go to Ithaca (where I lived for 2 years after college and before moving to CT). But in the dream it looked NOTHING like the Ithaca I knew. I'm not really sure what it looked like, but it was supposed to be Ithaca, of this I am quite sure. I walked around, doing some window shopping after checking into my hotel. I went into a shoe store, but all the shoes were, um, oddish looking. Like blackish purple boots with chunky rubber soles that were kind of suede and kind of leather with hot pink stitching. And I remember that was disappointing. And the right side of the shoe store sold sewing machines. (Should I mention that in addition to being detailed and lengthy my dreams are also mostly on the odd side?)
As I was looking at what I thought were going to be the last of the shoes the store kind of morphed into a book store (go figure). And the bookstore part of the shoe store was having a reception. I thought it was for a local author or something, but no, that would have been too normal for my dream. Instead I ran into a current co-worker who worked at the book store (because clearly someone I work with here in CT would also have a job 5 or so hours away at a little book/shoe/sewing machine store in another state). This co-worker told me that the reception was sort a live entertainment thing and that the entertainment was her little black dog who promptly jumped into my arms. I have no idea what kind of dog it was but it was black and fluffy and a little smaller than Maggie.
I'm not sure exactly how the next part happened, but then I ran into FMHW and her roommate (because they would clearly be in Ithaca too) and they asked if I wanted to hang out with them. I said sure since I didn't really want to go back to my hotel and just sit by myself. So we walked out to the parking lot which was really this small mostly empty field. There were four cars parked there, FMHW's being the last in the row. And it was her car, the one she drives in real life. So we got into FMHW's car and were driving away (she was driving, her roommate was in the front seat and I was in the back) when I realized there was a little boy in the back with me and also a slightly older little girl and there was a woman I didn't recognize in the front with FMHW and her roommate. But the small car was not crowded.
I remember I had my cellphone in my pocket too. My friend Jacqueline sent me a text with license plates while we were driving (Jac, Francesca and I text vanity plates we see to each other, it's something that started during our trip to Bar Harbor last year. PATSWIN or something like that was the plate Jac texted me in the dream). I distinctly remember my cellphone vibrating in my pocket when the text with the license plates came through. At some point as we were sort of talking I figured out who the woman in the front seat was (as in not just another random friend but the new girlfriend of FMHW and the two children in the back with me are the new girlfriend's children, where FMHW's kids are I don't know) and then FMHW got really antsy and upset and looked soooo ashamed. She then sort of pulled over and somehow she got the roommate to drive (car is still moving mind you) while she climbed into the back seat with me because she wanted to talk. To explain herself. But she never really did and I don't even remember her talking for that matter.
We were driving past green fields. I disticntly remember one of them had a white split rail fence around it. The road might have turned to a dirt road at some point, I'm a bit unclear about that. Meanwhile I am trying to get my cell phone to work so I can text my friend Francesca about my predicament while I'm telling them that I'll just catch a cab back to my hotel when we get to where ever we're going (I still don't know our destination by the way) because I really really really didn't want to be anywhere near them at that point. But I can't get my phone to work and when we get to where we're going I don't catch a cab. And I don't know if the new girlfriend knows who I am to FMHW or not because it didn't seem to phase her that I was there.
So, now we're at this art gallery thing. But believe me when I tell you it is like no gallery I have ever been in or seen on TV. It's more like a rambling and ramshackle and sprawling farmhouse and barn all in one. This is where the roommate comes up to me alone and I ask her about the new girl. And she tells me that she's okay, but she's not like me and that she really misses having me around and she thinks FMHW does too. She says this other woman just isn't right for her. I am still trying to get my phone to work, desperate at this point for someone to ground me in reality I think.
And then we all sit down around this round wooden table where another woman is already sitting (the kids have disappeared at this point). Then this stranger says something along the lines of "I know you" to FMHW's girlfriend and it turns out she's some singer that FMHW and her roommate had met at some show in Canada. The roommate is a musician in real life by the way, so FMHW and the roommate being at a show makes some sense. The Canada part however doesn't make much sense. And then someone breaks out a Scrabble board and we start to play. But it's not traditional scrabble with nice uniform square wooden tiles. Because again that would just be too normal for my dream. Instead the tiles are these faded purple seed like things and the letters are written in faded black ink and are barely legible on them. And in fact the letters look more like numbers than letters.
I believe that's when I woke up. Before my alarm of course and very confused by the whole dream. It's amazing that I don't wake up more tired than I was when I went to sleep after dreams like that.
In honor of this, my most recent technicolor dream, I give to you Billy Ocean's Get Out Of My Dreams Get Into My Car.
Lady driver
let me take your wheel
smooth operator
touch my bumper (bumper)
hey, lets make a deal
make it real
like a road runner
coming after you
just like a hero
outta the blue
I'll be your non-stop lover
get it while you can
your non-stop miracle
I'm your man (or woman as the case may be)
Get outta my dreams
get into my car
I was on a weekend trip away, by myself. I'd decided to go to Ithaca (where I lived for 2 years after college and before moving to CT). But in the dream it looked NOTHING like the Ithaca I knew. I'm not really sure what it looked like, but it was supposed to be Ithaca, of this I am quite sure. I walked around, doing some window shopping after checking into my hotel. I went into a shoe store, but all the shoes were, um, oddish looking. Like blackish purple boots with chunky rubber soles that were kind of suede and kind of leather with hot pink stitching. And I remember that was disappointing. And the right side of the shoe store sold sewing machines. (Should I mention that in addition to being detailed and lengthy my dreams are also mostly on the odd side?)
As I was looking at what I thought were going to be the last of the shoes the store kind of morphed into a book store (go figure). And the bookstore part of the shoe store was having a reception. I thought it was for a local author or something, but no, that would have been too normal for my dream. Instead I ran into a current co-worker who worked at the book store (because clearly someone I work with here in CT would also have a job 5 or so hours away at a little book/shoe/sewing machine store in another state). This co-worker told me that the reception was sort a live entertainment thing and that the entertainment was her little black dog who promptly jumped into my arms. I have no idea what kind of dog it was but it was black and fluffy and a little smaller than Maggie.
I'm not sure exactly how the next part happened, but then I ran into FMHW and her roommate (because they would clearly be in Ithaca too) and they asked if I wanted to hang out with them. I said sure since I didn't really want to go back to my hotel and just sit by myself. So we walked out to the parking lot which was really this small mostly empty field. There were four cars parked there, FMHW's being the last in the row. And it was her car, the one she drives in real life. So we got into FMHW's car and were driving away (she was driving, her roommate was in the front seat and I was in the back) when I realized there was a little boy in the back with me and also a slightly older little girl and there was a woman I didn't recognize in the front with FMHW and her roommate. But the small car was not crowded.
I remember I had my cellphone in my pocket too. My friend Jacqueline sent me a text with license plates while we were driving (Jac, Francesca and I text vanity plates we see to each other, it's something that started during our trip to Bar Harbor last year. PATSWIN or something like that was the plate Jac texted me in the dream). I distinctly remember my cellphone vibrating in my pocket when the text with the license plates came through. At some point as we were sort of talking I figured out who the woman in the front seat was (as in not just another random friend but the new girlfriend of FMHW and the two children in the back with me are the new girlfriend's children, where FMHW's kids are I don't know) and then FMHW got really antsy and upset and looked soooo ashamed. She then sort of pulled over and somehow she got the roommate to drive (car is still moving mind you) while she climbed into the back seat with me because she wanted to talk. To explain herself. But she never really did and I don't even remember her talking for that matter.
We were driving past green fields. I disticntly remember one of them had a white split rail fence around it. The road might have turned to a dirt road at some point, I'm a bit unclear about that. Meanwhile I am trying to get my cell phone to work so I can text my friend Francesca about my predicament while I'm telling them that I'll just catch a cab back to my hotel when we get to where ever we're going (I still don't know our destination by the way) because I really really really didn't want to be anywhere near them at that point. But I can't get my phone to work and when we get to where we're going I don't catch a cab. And I don't know if the new girlfriend knows who I am to FMHW or not because it didn't seem to phase her that I was there.
So, now we're at this art gallery thing. But believe me when I tell you it is like no gallery I have ever been in or seen on TV. It's more like a rambling and ramshackle and sprawling farmhouse and barn all in one. This is where the roommate comes up to me alone and I ask her about the new girl. And she tells me that she's okay, but she's not like me and that she really misses having me around and she thinks FMHW does too. She says this other woman just isn't right for her. I am still trying to get my phone to work, desperate at this point for someone to ground me in reality I think.
And then we all sit down around this round wooden table where another woman is already sitting (the kids have disappeared at this point). Then this stranger says something along the lines of "I know you" to FMHW's girlfriend and it turns out she's some singer that FMHW and her roommate had met at some show in Canada. The roommate is a musician in real life by the way, so FMHW and the roommate being at a show makes some sense. The Canada part however doesn't make much sense. And then someone breaks out a Scrabble board and we start to play. But it's not traditional scrabble with nice uniform square wooden tiles. Because again that would just be too normal for my dream. Instead the tiles are these faded purple seed like things and the letters are written in faded black ink and are barely legible on them. And in fact the letters look more like numbers than letters.
I believe that's when I woke up. Before my alarm of course and very confused by the whole dream. It's amazing that I don't wake up more tired than I was when I went to sleep after dreams like that.
In honor of this, my most recent technicolor dream, I give to you Billy Ocean's Get Out Of My Dreams Get Into My Car.
Lady driver
let me take your wheel
smooth operator
touch my bumper (bumper)
hey, lets make a deal
make it real
like a road runner
coming after you
just like a hero
outta the blue
I'll be your non-stop lover
get it while you can
your non-stop miracle
I'm your man (or woman as the case may be)
Get outta my dreams
get into my car
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tell me why?
Can someone please tell me why I continue to watch American Idol? Please? After every season I swear I'm not going to watch it again next season. And then next season rolls around and I find myself listening to so-so singers trying to be the next Whitney Houston. And most of them? They are in no way close to being in the same league as pre-drugs Whitney.
This week they butchered, I mean they sung Michael Jackson songs. A couple of them performed really well. But it's Michael Jackson. Who is an icon. And if you're only a marginally good singer you should not try to sing the songs of an icon.
And then there are the judges. Randy Dawg Jackson who looks sleeker and healthier than the first few seasons. But still says dawg a few (okay more than a few) too many times each show. And of course the curmudgeon Simon Cowell who I have a love/hate relationship with. And who can forget Paula "Cold Hearted Snake" Abdul? I sometimes wonder who dresses her before the show. Last night I was wondering who did her makeup. It was not the prettiest. But she is sweet and means well. And last but not least Kara DioGuardi who I had never in my life heard of before. I like that a fourth judge was added and I think she was an excellent choice. Not just because I think she falls on the Simon side of the spectrum and gives honest opinions, but because she's gorgeous. Finally some eye candy for me on the show. And if I'm going to subject my brain to this mush I should at least get some eye candy out of it. And she is excellent eye candy.
Kelly Clarkson guested on tonight's results show. I love that she hasn't become a stick figure. She is a normal sized woman. I love that. She looked great and sounded equally good. She really hit the jackpot on season one.
With all that said, I swear I'm not going to watch next season. Really, I mean it this time. And I have almost a full year to work on my resolve since this season has just gotten underway!
And in honor of American Idol and Michael Jackson today's lyrics come from Beat It.
They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it
This week they butchered, I mean they sung Michael Jackson songs. A couple of them performed really well. But it's Michael Jackson. Who is an icon. And if you're only a marginally good singer you should not try to sing the songs of an icon.
And then there are the judges. Randy Dawg Jackson who looks sleeker and healthier than the first few seasons. But still says dawg a few (okay more than a few) too many times each show. And of course the curmudgeon Simon Cowell who I have a love/hate relationship with. And who can forget Paula "Cold Hearted Snake" Abdul? I sometimes wonder who dresses her before the show. Last night I was wondering who did her makeup. It was not the prettiest. But she is sweet and means well. And last but not least Kara DioGuardi who I had never in my life heard of before. I like that a fourth judge was added and I think she was an excellent choice. Not just because I think she falls on the Simon side of the spectrum and gives honest opinions, but because she's gorgeous. Finally some eye candy for me on the show. And if I'm going to subject my brain to this mush I should at least get some eye candy out of it. And she is excellent eye candy.
Kelly Clarkson guested on tonight's results show. I love that she hasn't become a stick figure. She is a normal sized woman. I love that. She looked great and sounded equally good. She really hit the jackpot on season one.
With all that said, I swear I'm not going to watch next season. Really, I mean it this time. And I have almost a full year to work on my resolve since this season has just gotten underway!
And in honor of American Idol and Michael Jackson today's lyrics come from Beat It.
They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it
Friday, March 6, 2009
30 Random Songs on my iPod
Because apparently I am a follower and also because apparently my motivation has taken a road trip to Vegas I present to you 30 random songs on my iPod. The inspiration for this post comes from the following post on the Jennsylvania blog:
http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2009/03/its-high-time-for-a-throwaway-post.html
Shuffle on my iPod is an interesting creature. I have a more eclectic mix of music on it than even I think I should have. And as is typically the case my iPod is already playing on shuffle as I type this. I'm 72 songs into this shuffle and I'm not going to start over so without further ado here goes.
1. Word Up - Melanie G from the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me soundtrack. Ms Ex. owned this and when I was loading up my iTunes before our split this is one of the discs I loaded. This may in fact be only the second or third time this song has come up on shuffle in the two or three years I've had it in my iTunes.
2. The Road Home - Heart. I bough The Essential Heart discs a couple years ago specifically for the song Alone. I skip a lot of the other songs that come up. This is one that I can take or leave.
3. Catching on Fire - They Might Be Giants. The song is all of 12 seconds long.
4. Whirpool - Seal. This is another of Ms. Ex's discs.
5. Our Last Summer - Mamma Mia! soundtrack Original Broadway Cast. If you haven't seen this show and you like Abba music you HAVE to go see it. I love this musical, not as much as I love Rent, but I do love it. The movie was pretty good too. Amanda Seyfreid is wonderful in it. I could have done without Pierce Brosnan.
6. Tight - INXS. I would have preferred a different INXS song to come up.
7. Where Life Begins - Madonna off of the Erotica album. I typically skip songs from this album. They just don't do it for me.
8. Pictures of You - The Cure. This song reminds me of college. And the angst and drama of my first sort of girlfriend.
9. Time After Time - Cindy Lauper & Sarah McLachlan. I love this version of this song. I'd love it even more if Cindy just let Sarah sing the whole thing.
10. I Have A Dream - Mamma Mia! Soundtrack Original Broadway Cast. I guess it's an Abba kind of day for me!
11. Fashion Victim - Green Day. I have great love for Green Day and have ever since Dookie. This isn't one of my more favorite songs, but it still makes me bob my head along to the beat.
12. Fallible - Blues Traveler. I'm really not a Blues Traveler fan, but when I loaded the disc with that one song I like on it I loaded the whole thing. I usually skip the other songs.
13. Baby - UB40. Again a reminder of the college years. Specifically this time driving back and forth to college in my first car a gold VW Jetta that I named Bastard. I loved that car.
14. Yes, Anastasia - Tori Amos. I'm not actually all that familiar with this Tori song. The Little Earthquakes album is my favorite of hers and this is not from that.
15. You Had Me - Joss Stone. I like her voice a lot, but I'm not a fan of a lot of her songs. She's one of those artists that I'd like to hand a song list and ask her to sing those specific songs for me please and thank you.
16. American Idiot - Green Day. Now this is a Green Day song I LOVE. "Subliminal mind fuck America." Great lyric!
17. Worthy - Ani DiFranco. I was wondering when Ani would pop up since my iPod has been playing quite a lot of her the last few days.
18. Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails. This is yet another college song and again it reminds me of my first "girlfriend." I'm using the quotes around girlfriend because while that was what she was in my mind I'm sure in her mind I was just a toy, a thing to be played with when she was bored or had a little time.
19. The Climb - No Doubt. I really have no comment for this song. I don't recall ever having heard it before.
20. Straight On - Heart. Here's another one that I typically skip.
21. I Don't Wanna Talk About It - Indigo Girls. Excellent song. This one reminds me of another college girlfriend and her sister. They used to sing it together and harmonize and since they both had great singing voices it was so much fun to listen to them. I don't want to fast forward through this one, but since I'm blogging on my lunch hour I suppose I have to.
22. Solid - The Dandy Warhols. I bought this disc because everyone on a CD swapping site that I belonged to was talking about this group. They are just eh for me. I swapped this CD and got something else in return. I have no idea what I got for it.
23. Trust - The Cure. I don't really love the Cure all that much but they do come up in my shuffle a lot. Which is strange to me since I have maybe 2 albums of theirs in my iTunes.
24. Whatever - Ani DiFranco. This one is version off Living in Clip. I love the Living in Clip versions better than the studio versions of most of her songs.
25. Homesick - Train. This album was given to me by a former colleague who bought it, hated it and thought I would like it so she gave it to me. I don't love it, but it's okay. I have no idea what made her think that I would like it, but she was adamant that I have it so I took it.
26. A Day In The Life - The Beatles. I've had lots of The Beatles the last few days too. Love them even though this isn't one of my favorite songs.
27. The Slant - Ani DiFranco. See what I mean about my iPod thinking I need to hear a lot of Ani lately???
28. Omaha - Counting Crows. Another college song for me. I can still remember the way a certain classroom was set up. During one of the many English classes that I took in that room I wrote a portion of the lyrics to one of the songs off this album on one of the desks. I wonder if that desk is still there? Granted that was like 13 or 14 years ago so I'm sure it's gone by now, but still I wonder.
29. To Have and Not To Hold - Madonna. This is off her Ray of Light album or the album which will always remind me of the early days with Ms. Ex. I can remember riding around town with her in her black Jeep Cherokee listening to this disc. Madonna was her favorite. Those are good memories of Ms. Ex.
30. Hunter - Dido. I know the song but didn't know it's title. Huh.
31. Stop! - Erasure. I'm putting in a bonus song just for the heck of it. This also reminds me of college. I can still see how my dorm room was set up. I had a single and my bed was by the window and my stereo was on my dresser across the room. My first "girlfriend" got me listening to Erasure and New Order and The Petshop Boys.
32. Pump up the Jam - Technotronic feat. Felly - Bonus song number two! Weren't the 90s fun?!
I am surprised there's no Rent on this list, but considering I'd already heard three or four songs from the soundtrack before I started writing this post I guess it's not all that surprising. Also surprising is the lack of classical music. My iPod has also been on a classical kick the last few days. Makes for an interesting transition when you go from Green Day to Bach. See # 16 for the lyrics for this post. This was a fun one to write.
http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2009/03/its-high-time-for-a-throwaway-post.html
Shuffle on my iPod is an interesting creature. I have a more eclectic mix of music on it than even I think I should have. And as is typically the case my iPod is already playing on shuffle as I type this. I'm 72 songs into this shuffle and I'm not going to start over so without further ado here goes.
1. Word Up - Melanie G from the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me soundtrack. Ms Ex. owned this and when I was loading up my iTunes before our split this is one of the discs I loaded. This may in fact be only the second or third time this song has come up on shuffle in the two or three years I've had it in my iTunes.
2. The Road Home - Heart. I bough The Essential Heart discs a couple years ago specifically for the song Alone. I skip a lot of the other songs that come up. This is one that I can take or leave.
3. Catching on Fire - They Might Be Giants. The song is all of 12 seconds long.
4. Whirpool - Seal. This is another of Ms. Ex's discs.
5. Our Last Summer - Mamma Mia! soundtrack Original Broadway Cast. If you haven't seen this show and you like Abba music you HAVE to go see it. I love this musical, not as much as I love Rent, but I do love it. The movie was pretty good too. Amanda Seyfreid is wonderful in it. I could have done without Pierce Brosnan.
6. Tight - INXS. I would have preferred a different INXS song to come up.
7. Where Life Begins - Madonna off of the Erotica album. I typically skip songs from this album. They just don't do it for me.
8. Pictures of You - The Cure. This song reminds me of college. And the angst and drama of my first sort of girlfriend.
9. Time After Time - Cindy Lauper & Sarah McLachlan. I love this version of this song. I'd love it even more if Cindy just let Sarah sing the whole thing.
10. I Have A Dream - Mamma Mia! Soundtrack Original Broadway Cast. I guess it's an Abba kind of day for me!
11. Fashion Victim - Green Day. I have great love for Green Day and have ever since Dookie. This isn't one of my more favorite songs, but it still makes me bob my head along to the beat.
12. Fallible - Blues Traveler. I'm really not a Blues Traveler fan, but when I loaded the disc with that one song I like on it I loaded the whole thing. I usually skip the other songs.
13. Baby - UB40. Again a reminder of the college years. Specifically this time driving back and forth to college in my first car a gold VW Jetta that I named Bastard. I loved that car.
14. Yes, Anastasia - Tori Amos. I'm not actually all that familiar with this Tori song. The Little Earthquakes album is my favorite of hers and this is not from that.
15. You Had Me - Joss Stone. I like her voice a lot, but I'm not a fan of a lot of her songs. She's one of those artists that I'd like to hand a song list and ask her to sing those specific songs for me please and thank you.
16. American Idiot - Green Day. Now this is a Green Day song I LOVE. "Subliminal mind fuck America." Great lyric!
17. Worthy - Ani DiFranco. I was wondering when Ani would pop up since my iPod has been playing quite a lot of her the last few days.
18. Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails. This is yet another college song and again it reminds me of my first "girlfriend." I'm using the quotes around girlfriend because while that was what she was in my mind I'm sure in her mind I was just a toy, a thing to be played with when she was bored or had a little time.
19. The Climb - No Doubt. I really have no comment for this song. I don't recall ever having heard it before.
20. Straight On - Heart. Here's another one that I typically skip.
21. I Don't Wanna Talk About It - Indigo Girls. Excellent song. This one reminds me of another college girlfriend and her sister. They used to sing it together and harmonize and since they both had great singing voices it was so much fun to listen to them. I don't want to fast forward through this one, but since I'm blogging on my lunch hour I suppose I have to.
22. Solid - The Dandy Warhols. I bought this disc because everyone on a CD swapping site that I belonged to was talking about this group. They are just eh for me. I swapped this CD and got something else in return. I have no idea what I got for it.
23. Trust - The Cure. I don't really love the Cure all that much but they do come up in my shuffle a lot. Which is strange to me since I have maybe 2 albums of theirs in my iTunes.
24. Whatever - Ani DiFranco. This one is version off Living in Clip. I love the Living in Clip versions better than the studio versions of most of her songs.
25. Homesick - Train. This album was given to me by a former colleague who bought it, hated it and thought I would like it so she gave it to me. I don't love it, but it's okay. I have no idea what made her think that I would like it, but she was adamant that I have it so I took it.
26. A Day In The Life - The Beatles. I've had lots of The Beatles the last few days too. Love them even though this isn't one of my favorite songs.
27. The Slant - Ani DiFranco. See what I mean about my iPod thinking I need to hear a lot of Ani lately???
28. Omaha - Counting Crows. Another college song for me. I can still remember the way a certain classroom was set up. During one of the many English classes that I took in that room I wrote a portion of the lyrics to one of the songs off this album on one of the desks. I wonder if that desk is still there? Granted that was like 13 or 14 years ago so I'm sure it's gone by now, but still I wonder.
29. To Have and Not To Hold - Madonna. This is off her Ray of Light album or the album which will always remind me of the early days with Ms. Ex. I can remember riding around town with her in her black Jeep Cherokee listening to this disc. Madonna was her favorite. Those are good memories of Ms. Ex.
30. Hunter - Dido. I know the song but didn't know it's title. Huh.
31. Stop! - Erasure. I'm putting in a bonus song just for the heck of it. This also reminds me of college. I can still see how my dorm room was set up. I had a single and my bed was by the window and my stereo was on my dresser across the room. My first "girlfriend" got me listening to Erasure and New Order and The Petshop Boys.
32. Pump up the Jam - Technotronic feat. Felly - Bonus song number two! Weren't the 90s fun?!
I am surprised there's no Rent on this list, but considering I'd already heard three or four songs from the soundtrack before I started writing this post I guess it's not all that surprising. Also surprising is the lack of classical music. My iPod has also been on a classical kick the last few days. Makes for an interesting transition when you go from Green Day to Bach. See # 16 for the lyrics for this post. This was a fun one to write.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Random list number two
Before I get too far into my post I would like to add a person to my list of people I find far more attractive than Angelina Jolie. My addition is Paz Vega. She is gorgeous. I would like to find myself one of her to have for my very own. And on to the rest of my post while I dream about finding my very own Paz Vega. Or Zooey Deschanel. Or Tina Fey......
I have a bunch of random thoughts going through my head again tonight. The first of which is about being an only child and how scary that is as your parents age. My father had a bit of a scare this past weekend and was hospitalized with a blood clot behind his left knee. Blood clots are, as his doctor put it, "potentially life threatening events." And he had it for probably 60 or so hours before he was admitted to the hospital. It could have broken loose from where it was stuck and gone rushing through his veins to lodge someplace else which could have killed him. That's some scary stuff right there. The good thing is that he's home from the hospital today and feeling much better.
It was hard to see him in his hospital bed in that little gown with an IV sticking out of his hand and black sharpie on his leg in three places so they could monitor the swelling with his right hand trembling uncontrollably. That's not my father. That is not the man who played catch with me as a child or who taught me how to throw a football in a spiral or who read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy to me. It really reinforced for me that my parents are aging. They are slowing down and before I know it their care will be in my hands. I am not sure I can do it on my own. And therefore I choose not to think about it most of the time. Until that is I am faced with a situation where one of them is ill. And then I think about it all the time.
Next up on the random thoughts list is you never out grow the giddiness of a snow day. I had one yesterday and after the weekend I had (see father in hospital with potentially life threatening blood clot above) I really needed the extra day off. I watched four movies and stayed in pajamas all day. On the one hand I feel like such a loser for doing nothing productive but on the other hand I needed the time to just relax.
Thirdly on the random thought list. I love Rent. I love it so much. I listened to the soundtrack three times in a row today. I admit that might be a little much. There is probably a support group for people like me. I often wonder what Jonathon Larson might have written had he not died so suddenly. I think the world lost a great artist on that day. And also when I see people who have been in Rent on other things (Taye Diggs on Private Practice or Traci Thoms on Cold Case or Indina Menzel in Enchanted for instance) I want them to sing their lines. But they never do. And that makes me sad.
Fourth. Internet dating is such an odd thing. My history so far:
1. coffee date with woman with orange teeth who's idea of smoking on occasion was a cigarette every few hours
2. coffee date with FMHW which ended in a really happy and fun 5 or so months which I would have liked to continue
3. an invitation from a complete stranger to rent a car, drive to Florida on Spring Break and swim with the manatees with her
4. a coffee date with a woman who's name I don't even remember because she was that unremarkable (who I then had to dodge in WalMart a week later because I never answered her e-mail)
5. a coffee date with a woman who's face with just, well, off and who's speech was slightly impared because of it and with whom I had NOTHING in common other than on paper, we were sooooo not a match.
I cannot tell if the list above is a good track record or a bad track record. And for some reason I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Oh and I just remembered #4 above's name!
Fifth, well I'm sure there was a fifth when I started this post, but I can't remember it right now. Oh, maybe it was that I would really like it if people who are sick as dogs would stay the fuck home instead of bringing their germs to work. And also these people should go to the fucking doctor if they have been sick for three weeks now. Please I beg of you, use your sick days!!! You will lose more time if you come to work sick than you would if you just stayed home. Not to mentioned the productivity of other people being diminshed because you got them sick and they had to stay home from work because of it. I will repeat it once more. If you are sick STAY HOME!
And my song for the day is Sweet Darlin' by She and Him. I love this song. I adore She and Him, I can't wait for their next album to come out. I refuse to think they will only produce the one. If you haven't heard of them I urge you to check them out. And full disclosure Zooey Deschanel is the She of She and Him.
When I was a little bit younger
the strain I was under could make me cry
Now I'm a little bit older,
a little bit bolder
never so shy
Sweet darlin', come hold me
just a little bit longer now
I have a bunch of random thoughts going through my head again tonight. The first of which is about being an only child and how scary that is as your parents age. My father had a bit of a scare this past weekend and was hospitalized with a blood clot behind his left knee. Blood clots are, as his doctor put it, "potentially life threatening events." And he had it for probably 60 or so hours before he was admitted to the hospital. It could have broken loose from where it was stuck and gone rushing through his veins to lodge someplace else which could have killed him. That's some scary stuff right there. The good thing is that he's home from the hospital today and feeling much better.
It was hard to see him in his hospital bed in that little gown with an IV sticking out of his hand and black sharpie on his leg in three places so they could monitor the swelling with his right hand trembling uncontrollably. That's not my father. That is not the man who played catch with me as a child or who taught me how to throw a football in a spiral or who read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy to me. It really reinforced for me that my parents are aging. They are slowing down and before I know it their care will be in my hands. I am not sure I can do it on my own. And therefore I choose not to think about it most of the time. Until that is I am faced with a situation where one of them is ill. And then I think about it all the time.
Next up on the random thoughts list is you never out grow the giddiness of a snow day. I had one yesterday and after the weekend I had (see father in hospital with potentially life threatening blood clot above) I really needed the extra day off. I watched four movies and stayed in pajamas all day. On the one hand I feel like such a loser for doing nothing productive but on the other hand I needed the time to just relax.
Thirdly on the random thought list. I love Rent. I love it so much. I listened to the soundtrack three times in a row today. I admit that might be a little much. There is probably a support group for people like me. I often wonder what Jonathon Larson might have written had he not died so suddenly. I think the world lost a great artist on that day. And also when I see people who have been in Rent on other things (Taye Diggs on Private Practice or Traci Thoms on Cold Case or Indina Menzel in Enchanted for instance) I want them to sing their lines. But they never do. And that makes me sad.
Fourth. Internet dating is such an odd thing. My history so far:
1. coffee date with woman with orange teeth who's idea of smoking on occasion was a cigarette every few hours
2. coffee date with FMHW which ended in a really happy and fun 5 or so months which I would have liked to continue
3. an invitation from a complete stranger to rent a car, drive to Florida on Spring Break and swim with the manatees with her
4. a coffee date with a woman who's name I don't even remember because she was that unremarkable (who I then had to dodge in WalMart a week later because I never answered her e-mail)
5. a coffee date with a woman who's face with just, well, off and who's speech was slightly impared because of it and with whom I had NOTHING in common other than on paper, we were sooooo not a match.
I cannot tell if the list above is a good track record or a bad track record. And for some reason I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Oh and I just remembered #4 above's name!
Fifth, well I'm sure there was a fifth when I started this post, but I can't remember it right now. Oh, maybe it was that I would really like it if people who are sick as dogs would stay the fuck home instead of bringing their germs to work. And also these people should go to the fucking doctor if they have been sick for three weeks now. Please I beg of you, use your sick days!!! You will lose more time if you come to work sick than you would if you just stayed home. Not to mentioned the productivity of other people being diminshed because you got them sick and they had to stay home from work because of it. I will repeat it once more. If you are sick STAY HOME!
And my song for the day is Sweet Darlin' by She and Him. I love this song. I adore She and Him, I can't wait for their next album to come out. I refuse to think they will only produce the one. If you haven't heard of them I urge you to check them out. And full disclosure Zooey Deschanel is the She of She and Him.
When I was a little bit younger
the strain I was under could make me cry
Now I'm a little bit older,
a little bit bolder
never so shy
Sweet darlin', come hold me
just a little bit longer now
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