A short list

I thought of some things today (at different times) that I wanted to blog about so here's a short list for you.

1. We had a very productive writing group meeting tonight. And it felt really good. Darn near inspiring. I think my motivation might be returning. This is a very good thing as my motivation has apparently been on an extended vacation somewhere with a beach, a stack of good books, a personal chef and her dog. She's unhappy at leaving paradise but knows it's time to get back to work. She's still a bit grumbly and I believe also jet lagged, but that's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix.

2. I wonder if the folks from my writing group read my blog? If so, hi guys! Hope you enjoy it.

3. If you don't already know this about me, I'm gay. Very very gay. I am reminded of this on nearly a daily basis, especially when I see a woman I find attractive (such as young IT girl at work who hooked up our new student work stations yesterday and who I believe shares my first name and who I also think is gay, anyway, moving on....). Being gay is simply a part of who I am and it is what it is.

4. However, when you're gay you don't just come out once and that's that. You have to come out over and over and over and over again. Anytime you meet new people and something comes up in conversation that requires you to go into detail about yourself you have to come out all over again. It gets easier with time and the more you do it the easier it is, but when you haven't had to do it for a while you kind of forget about it and it gets hard again. I was reminded of this tonight in my writing group meeting. One of the other members was commenting on a piece I wrote and asked a very good question about whether or not it's important to know that the woman in the piece was in a gay marriage or partnership. My answer was "well, it's autobiographical, so..." which didn't really answer her question. But it did out me to two new people that I barely know which is always uncomfortable (for me at least) for a few minutes. And really the answer to her question is "no, it's probably not important to know that."

5. I was looking through old e-mails at work today trying to find something I know I have but I cannot for the life of me remember where I filed it. I keep nearly every single e-mail I receive or I send at work (except for a six month span of time which got wiped out during an unfortunate computer crash, and I mean a literal crash where my tower fell over and landed on the hard drive wiping out anything I hadn't backed up and of course I hadn't backed up in six months). I am a big fan of CYA (cover your ass) especially as it relates to work. I cannot tell you how many times being such an electronic packrat has come in very very handy. But being a packrat like that also gives me a chance to reflect on how far I've come, both professionally and personally, when I stumble across old e-mails as I'm looking for something else. Today I found an e-mail from two years and three-ish weeks ago (mid-July 2007). During that time I was deseperately searching for a house as Ms. Ex and I had sold ours and set a closing date that was rapidly approaching. It was also the end of our fiscal year at work which is always hellish. My reply below was in response to a question from a friend and former colleague who simply asked "how's the search for a house coming?" in an e-mail exchange with me and two other friends/former colleagues.

Let's see...the people that are buying our house are being complete asses about the inspection report so we're not even sure if the deal is still going through. They agreed to an Aug. 22nd closing date and now want to move it to Aug. 15th which is out of the question. I made an offer on a house last Friday that I loved, but it wasn't accepted. I found out after I'd already written and submitted the offer that there were other offers waiting to be presented on it. I waited all weekend to find that out and then found out on Monday that I didn't get the house. I saw two houses yesterday and six today and I'm not in love with any of them. I'm up the creek without a paddle right now and I'm leaving tomorrow for a few days in ME that Ms. Ex (note, name changed to protect the, um, well to protect me really) is now giving me shit about because I don't have a deal locked in on a house and she thinks I should only be going for 2 days instead of 4. Joanie (the dog Ms. Ex now has) had knee surgery yesterday to top it all off. Oh and I'm totally PMSing so I'm a total emotional wreck. How are you all?

I had totally forgotten what a shitting fucking summer that was for me (okay, okay it was a shitty fucking 18 months or so really). I have come a very long way since then and I am so very very thankful for that. Life really is good when you aren't bogged down by negative energies. Life, I love you and am grateful for all of the good things you've sent my way! I cannot thank you enough.

6. Lyrics for this post come from a song that will always remind me of college, I Kissed A Girl by Jill Sobule (this is not the same song as the one of the same name that's all the rage now by Katy Perry. Frankly Jill's version isn't quite as derogatory to us gays as Katy's song is. Of course, Katy's song is pretty darned catchy and I will freely admit that I like it and own it as well as the rest of her album which contains such classics as Ur So Gay and If You Can Afford Me. Anywho......).

And we laughed at the world
they can have their diamonds
and we'll have our pearls
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
she was just like kissing me
I kissed a girl, won't change the world
but I'm so glad I kissed a girl