Monday, June 6, 2011

I suck at the blogging this year. Also, Day One

So, it's been two months since my last post. I suck at blogging this year. Oh well. Not going to beat myself up over it, just going to try to make a more concerted effort to actually blog.

I've been doing a 30 song challenge on Facebook. One of my closest friends suggested I also put it on my blog so I could more fully explain my song choices. And I think I will. I doubt I'll do this on a daily basis, but eventually I'll get through all 30 days. And perhaps doing this will help kick me back in gear with the blogging.

So, Day One of the song challenge is your favorite song. I don't have an all time favorite. I have lots of songs that I will always love and which will probably be meaningful to me for a very long time. Instead of an all time favorite I chose to go with my current favorite.

When this pops up on shuffle on my iPod I never listen to it just once. There have been days when I listened to this song on my entire drive to work and then again on my drive home from work. We won't talk about how many times in a row that might be.

Soldier - Ingrid Michaelson

Had you asked me what my favorite song was 5 years ago or even 10 years ago, hell even 15 years ago my selection would have been different. The album Fumbling Toward Ecstasy basically got me through college. I would stick that CD in my discman, put on my head phones and stay up all night writing papers. I probably listened to it a million times. The first memory I have of my friend Nick was as he turned the corner in our dorm with a boombox on his shoulder singing along with the song Ice Cream. I remember hearing Hold On on a compilation CD I bought through BMG Music. When I think back like that I remember humming it as I was getting vegetables out of the walk-in cooler to stock the salad bar over the summer when I was working in our dining hall doing catering. Needless to say, the album holds many memories for me.

My favorite song off the album is Elsewhere.

I think it was these lyrics which really struck me:

Oh, the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me
Might not be right for you, but it's right for me
I believe...

When I was in college I was that quiet child who felt as though she'd been clinging to the mold which she'd grown into. I felt like I had to be a certain way because it was expected of me. As I grew into an adult and grew into who myself and gradually started coming out to myself it was hard to let go of that mold even though I desperately wanted to.

That mold is gone now and has been for many years. I live my life for me and if you don't like it, well, that's your problem. Not mine.


springbok said...

wow awsome read and awsome songs!!!

Anonymous said...

Great post! Explains a lot more than a sentence on FB! :-)