Friday, June 12, 2009

Good on paper but...

A little while ago I got home from coffee date number two for the week. I didn't blog about the first one, probably because it actually went well for a change. So well I'm actually planning to see her again. So well we've done a little texting. Today however, not as good.

First, let me say, I am still incredibly tired and while I'd like to think that colored my view of the date today, I know it did not. Second, I will say in her favor she was more attractive in person than in her pictures online (great eyes). Usually it is the other way around, people's pictures look great but they do not live up to expectations in person. I have found in my oh so scientific study that while most people resemble their photos they do not really look like their photos. Third, we are compatible musically meaning we have very similar tastes in music. This is important to me because who wants to be stuck on a long car ride arguing over who's music to listen to because neither of you likes what the other person does?

Anyway, as I sat there across the table from her listening to her talk (conversation was split about 85/15, with me being the 15 of course) I felt like I was on a job interview for a position I was completely unqualified for. Like say you were a regular joe, someone who goes to the office every day and may one day hope to be promoted to middle management if that's what you aspire to. For some reason you as a regular joe decided to apply for a new job just to see what else was out there and were lucky enough to be called in for an interview. But when you got to the interview and you started talking to the hiring manager you realized you hadn't applied for an office job, but rather to be an astronaut which you A) know nothing about and B) are soooooo very very unqualified for and C) really have no desire to be. That's what my date felt like. I was the regular joe and she was looking to hire an astronaut.

Now, don't think I'm selling myself short. I know I'm a catch in my own unique and special ways and I know that when I meet the right woman she'll think so too. But today? I was not the astronaut and frankly I didn't really want to be. In fact toward the end I was thinking of things I might say in order to make sure she never wanted to see me again (and also? I did really well at speaking awkwardly today, conversation was in NO way smooth unlike the first coffee date of the week). And for someone who calls her self a laid back Californian transplanted to the East Coast, I saw an awful lot of East Coast in her and not much, if any, of the laid back Californian.

On the plus side I did get a high five from her for having read The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. Glad she approves of my selected reading. So, while she looked great on paper the in person meeting did not live up to expectations. I'm sure she's saying the same about me and I am perfectly fine with that. And I think she intended for our 4:30 pm first meeting/coffee date to go A LOT longer than I had planned on or had any interest in. She wanted to get dinner and I was ready to go home before I even got to the coffee shop to meet her (an hour or so from home I might add). Also, she is what I like to call a "do-er" which means she has to be doing something to enjoy herself. I am not a doer. I'm perfectly content sitting and chatting with someone or even sitting and not talking if I'm comfortable enough with someone. That was one of the things I really loved about FMHW, she was not a doer. In fact we talked a few times about how neither of us understood why people get so hung up on having to go do something. I need someone who is not a doer.

I have no reason for posting these lyrics today other than I really like the song. I had to transcribe them while listening to the song since I could not find them online (Allie is, I believe, trying to get her name out there still). I give you Corner by Allie Moss (who sounds a lot like Ingrid Michaelson which is probably why I like her).

Your world trembles and quakes
and your footing suddenly shifts and shakes
take my hand we'll hide in the corner
hide in the corner
take my hand we'll hide till it's over
till it's all over

we have choices to make
we have promises that we can't break
there is nothing left to lose
so hold on to me I'll hold on to you
take my hand we'll hide in the corner
hide in the corner
take my hand we'll hide till it over
till it's all over


Jotini said...

Allie is brilliant, I thought it was Ingrid M at first!
Corner has been used on the new BT advert in the UK. (not sure if you're in the UK)
So hopefully she'll get a little more well known!

Jess said...

Jotini - I'm not in the UK, but I'm happy to hear that Corner is getting airtime somewhere. I hope it helps get Allie's name out there more.

Anonymous said...

I love that song too. I first heard it a couple of years back on scrubs.