Some days

I love weekends. I really do. Who doesn't? Weekends are our chance to sleep in or get up early and do what we want to do instead of going to work. Weekends we can sit in front of the t.v. all day and eat potato chips in our pajamas if we want. Or take a long walk in the middle of the day just to be outside. Or watch 3 movies and then read for the rest of the night.

Weekends are also when most of us run around doing all the errands we don't get a chance to do during the week because we are working. I can't think of a weekend when I've been home where I didn't at least need to go grocery shopping.

But weekends can also be lonely. There are days when the only person I talk to on the weekends is the cashier at the grocery store. Sure, I text with my friends and I e-mail and check Facebook and that's great. But the loneliness is still there, beneath the surface, threatening, looming, waiting for just the right moment to start seeping into my soul.

It's not the crushing loneliness of two years ago. And that's great. It's more the "it would be great to have someone sitting on the other side of the couch" kind of loneliness. The "I wish someone would make dinner for me occasionally" kind of loneliness. The "I really should have gone out and done something more today" kind of loneliness.

But when you're still recovering from an odd kind of cold that has left your right ear clogged for days and your right sinus filled to the brim it's hard to want to go out. Because frankly my hearing kind of sucks right now. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. I feel like my hearing sucks so that makes me reluctant to want to go out and socialize. Really I can hear just fine.

I know (now at least, although it was a different story 2 years ago) that the loneliness is only temporary. It comes and goes in waves and mostly now it goes. I enjoy, nearly covet at times, my alone time. I honestly like living alone. I love the quiet of my house, or conversely I love being able to blast my music or turn up the volume of the t.v. as loud as I want it. And I love being able to watch or listen to whatever I want to watch or listen to.

But some days, some days the loneliness still comes. Those days are fewer and further between now, but the loneliness is still there, beneath the surface, threatening. Today is one of the lonely days. And that's okay. Because tomorrow won't be. Nor the day after or the day after that.

Today's lyrics come from a song by J.D. Souther. I've never heard the original but I LOVE the cover by Schuyler Fisk. It's called You're Only Lonely.

When the world is ready to fall
On your little shoulders
And when you're feelin' lonely and small
You need somebody there to hold you
You can call out my name when you're only lonely
Now don't you ever be ashamed
When you're only lonely

When you need somebody around
On the nights that try you
Remember I was there when you were a queen
And I'll be the last one there beside you
So you can call out my name
When you're only lonely
Now don't you ever be ashamed
When you're only lonely
You're only lonely
You're only lonely
You're only lonely

When the world is ready to fall
On your little shoulders
And when you're feelin' lonely and small
You need somebody there to hold you
You can call out my name
When you're only lonely
So don't you ever be ashamed
You're only lonely
You're only lonely
You're only lonely
You're only lonely

Oh, it's no crime
Darlin' we got lots of time
No, there's nothin' wrong with you
Darlin' I get lonely too
You're only lonely
You're only lonely

So, if you need me
All you've gotta do is call me
When you're only lonely
You're only lonely
When you're lonely