Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A few days late on this post

I meant to post on Saturday and then on Sunday and also on Monday and Tuesday. Now it's Wednesday and I finally have the time. So, I had a date on Saturday. Another strike out. But that's perfectly okay. I realized as I was sitting there across from this perfectly nice woman that I just didn't want to be there. Even if I had really wanted to be there, there wouldn't have been a love connection. It's a simple as that.

I also realized something I think I've known all along (so would that be re-realized?), I am perfectly okay being single. I'm perfectly happy with my life. I have a good life, a great life. I own a house, have a great dog, fantastic friends, a good job, my health, goals and dreams. What more can a person ask for really? Would it be nice to share all this with a special someone? Of course that would be nice. But that's really just the icing on the cake.

Until I meet that special woman I'm content with life as it is. And knowing this about myself is a great thing. I am happy alone which is something that a lot of people will never be able to say about themselves. I've already done the equivalent of marriage and divorce and come out the other side a stronger person. Will my heart get broken again in the future? Maybe, and if that happens I'll deal with it. But I won't run right out and try to find someone to mend it for me. No one else can fix you, only you can fix yourself. And I'm very good at fixing things.

Spring is here, the flowers are in bloom, the days are longer, the weather is warmer, life really is good.

The lyrics for this post are from a song called Clean by Depeche Mode. I'm pretty sure the song is about overcoming a drug addiction and in that way it is not apropos to me in the least, but I think when you listen to the song you can also relate it to being able to let go of the past and overcome a difficult time in your life.

The cleanest I've been
An end to the tears
And the in-between years
And the troubles I've seen

Now that I'm clean
You know what I mean
I've broken my fall
put an end to it all
I've changed my routine
Now I'm clean

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