Percentages

I had another coffee date on Wednesday night. This one went better than the one on Sunday. At least it wasn't awkward the entire freaking time like the one on Sunday. Because that one? Way awkward. At least on Wednesday night there were no awkward silences where I had to search for conversation.

Nope, I don't believe there were any silences at all. And the reason for that? Well, the Talker made sure there weren't any. If you recorded the time each of us spoke and totaled it at the end of the evening the total would have been Jess 5% and the Talker 95%. And I am not even exaggerating. But I might see her again. Because it wasn't awful and she was intelligent, educated, well spoken, enjoys reading and is self sufficient. All things which are on my list of must haves. I didn't even know I had that list until comparing my two dates this week. I suppose that's a good thing to know though.

Another thing that was cemented for me this week is that I need to trust my instincts. I mean, I already know that, but sometimes I need reminders. I could tell within the first few minutes that Sunday's coffee date was not "the one" or even "the one for right now" for me. I really don't think the Talker is "the one" for me either, but she could turn into a friend. Well, that is if she stops talking enough to let me get a word in edgewise. I mean seriously I know people who love to talk and she could out talk all of them.

But I guess these experiences are good for me. They help put a finer point on what it is I am looking for in "the one." They also put into focus the fact that I had a good thing going last year, a really good thing, and that I will be comparing future "things" to that one for a long time. But that's okay, because even though my heart was broken (again) last year it was worth it. I wouldn't change a thing. And who knows what may happen in the future. As a good friend told me one time "just because you break up doesn't mean you can't get back together." I like to hold on to those words and think that perhaps that could happen for me. At the same time however, I'm not holding my breath or sitting around waiting or pining for something, someone, which may never appear.

I'm not really sure what today's lyrics have to do with this post. I'll leave you all to interpret that for yourselves. I will say though that this is one of my favorite songs at the moment. And since my fantastic friend Kim taught me how to make words into links (I know, I know, it's just a simple click, but I didn't know that!) you can listen to this song on youtube by clicking here and here. Oh, right the song is Sky by Joshua Radin and featuring Ingrid Michaelson (love her! seriously love her).

I woke, dreaming we had broke
dreaming you left me
for someone new
and you cried, drying those brown eyes
crying you're sorry
sorry won't do, but
this is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
and you never left me, all that I dreamt had been untrue
open my eyes, I see sky